Deny: A Dark, Erotic Motorcycle Club Romance Read online

  “Tell me.”

  “Renegade did it.”

  I wanted to be surprised, wanted to feel defensive or outraged, but he had it in him. For him, everything was personal, even though he asked me to beat him, one day he’d have to beat me in order to be even.

  Not that I’d allow that, but most women weren’t black belts in tae kwon do and judo. I was confident Renegade wouldn’t best me when the day came.

  “That motherfucker.” I hated bullies, and he was a bully with no conscience.

  “My thought exactly. Tomorrow, we’ll vote in a rule stopping this—kicking him out of the sex club next time he does it, but I need him gone from the whole club. He’s crazy, and as I tighten his leash, he’s going to attack everyone, anyone.”

  Sounded right.

  “When I tell him off—”

  “You can’t. I can’t. No proof. Misty knows if she talks he’ll gut her now or in ten years, Renegade always takes his revenge.”

  “Fecking bloody pervert.” I stared at him. “What are you going do about it?”

  “The question is what will you do about it?”

  “What do I have to do with this?” I didn’t like the question because I had an idea where he was going.

  “You’re my only in, he trusts you, and you have him in your dungeon—perfect opportunity to gather intelligence.” His gaze challenged me.

  I bristled and stood. “No way. I don’t betray my clients.” The automatic reply dried up on my tongue. Would I pick client confidentiality over stopping this psycho?

  “Really? That self-righteous anger is just a show then, when it’s time to act you hide behind ethics instead of stopping the man who slices up your friends.” He scoffed and stood, taking up my space. “Figures.”

  “What’s that mean?” I stepped closer, ready for a fight.

  “You were too good to be true. All hot and mouthy, but of course, not actually useful.” He smirked at me.

  “Wait a fucking minute.” I held up a finger. “You saying I don’t stand up for my girls? How dare you?” Rage lit me up and I strode right up to him until we were chest to chest. “I stand by what I say.”

  “Not how it looks from here.” He bent his head, pressed lips into mine. I stumbled forward as he drew me into him and assaulted my mouth with a ferocity I’d never experienced. His tongue invaded and battled mine. I sucked in his bottom lip and bit down. He grasped my ass and I moaned into his mouth. Then he pulled away, leaving me breathless. By the time I’d collected myself he was gone.

  Chapter Three

  Jericho

  I woke up early with shit festering in my brain. Marr was a problem—I wanted her too damn much. Her curvy body had been part of my dream last night, which was the last thing I needed. She was a solution, but not for my dick. She held too many temptations that I’d sworn off. And that alone was more than enough reason to deny those desires. I needed to get my head right about today’s meeting and figure out how the fuck to get Renegade out of my club.

  He’d taught me this game, he and the Old Man. I’d won once, and would again, especially with Marr’s help.

  I pulled on some running clothes and headed across the grass to eat up some ground and clear my head. I needed my mind right for the Council meeting today. When I broke through the pain, I embraced the high running gave me.

  Like it was yesterday, I remembered every fucking thing about Layla, my first love, only love, and how I’d failed her. It had been so good until it wasn’t. When I’d sent her away, crushed hadn’t even come close to the damage I’d inflicted. Her wide, trusting, honey-brown eyes haunted me. I’d dreamt about her and Marr in my dungeon together.

  Layla was the only woman I’d ever loved and I’d killed her before she turned eighteen. She may have drowned herself, but I’d been responsible.

  “You can’t be mine anymore,” I told her.

  “Isaac, I can take it, whatever he dishes out, just don’t order me away.” She hiccupped from sobbing for the past hour.

  “This is the only way you’ll be safe.” I begged her to understand. I’d taken this innocent girl from her life of cheerleading and football games into my dark world of domination—two years we’d played together, and sending her away killed the last of me, the last of my soul. I’d just be a dead man walking. “You just don’t get it.” I hardened my voice. “You are a thing—one I’m done with.” I strode to her and yanked her collar off, breaking the clasp. “We’re done, you aren’t more than a pawn, and one I’m over.” I spun away.

  Quiet sobs were the only sound in the room. “Why are you still here? Go. Now,” I commanded.

  She ran from the room.

  I sucked in deep lungfuls of air to fuel my run, but I couldn’t outrun my memories. The next time I saw her, she was bloated and eaten by fish. The sheriff wanted me to see what drowning looked like, up close and personal. I’d fought and won the battle not to puke, but her bloated face, lips chewed up, still came to me in dreams.

  The sun was hot and already it scorched my skin, but I picked up my pace and ran flat out while sweat streamed into my eyes. Making my normal loop through the woods and around the house, I made it back to the clubhouse a half hour before the meeting started. I peeled off my sweaty clothes and stepped in the barely warm shower. I had to move soon because this place didn’t have any of the comforts I wanted in my home. After the fast shower I threw on some clothes and booked it to the Council chambers.

  Dare ate biscuits and gravy in the Council room, a small room with an antique-looking table raised up on a platform. I’d thrown out the Old Man’s throne chair, and sat in the same wooden chair as my brothers, but I’d left the table raised on the platform at the far end of the room, allowing us to look down on whoever came before us.

  “You look like shit.” He grinned at me.

  “And you look well-fucked, bastard.” I headed back for the door. “Getting grub.”

  I heaped my plate with four biscuits and tons of gravy, my favorite breakfast. I nodded to Rock and Bear, both joined me in line.

  Back in the Council chambers, I dug into the food, while the rest of the brothers joined us. Once Viper arrived, I put my phone on the table and called Romeo.

  I stared at each of them. “Fuckin’ hurting women is going to stop. At least women who work for us. I can’t do shit about the old ladies.” I met each brother’s gaze reading agreement in their gazes. “Need a vote. Member hurts, serious shit, one of our girls, in my protection or in the Brotherhood’s employ and they’re kicked out of that place and Thorn beats them.”

  Thorn grinned at this idea.

  “Some of our girls like being hurt.” Viper shrugged. “What’s the line? We can’t leave it up to them.”

  “No fucking way we laying out how much is too much, that’s the wrong message.” Dare grunted. “Fuck, this shit should be easy.”

  “Make it up to the brother in charge of the area to make sure the girl consents and her limits aren’t crossed,” Rock added.

  “That’s a great idea.” Bear nodded. “I sure as shit will tolerate less since we make money off those faces, but Viper, yeah, he’s got girls who’d bitch at my limits.”

  “Everyone needs to watch the women. It’s Renegade’s go-to move. Seduce them. Beat them. Hell, maybe kill them. He’s a mean, crazy fuck. Worse than the fuckin’ Old Man.” I met each person’s eye and stopped at mine. “He won’t stop with the women who work for us. You know what he really wants—”

  “My fucking studio,” Bear grumbled.

  Viper frowned. “Or Bound.”

  “So we agree, all in favor say “aye” to limits set by the brother in charge.” I eyed Viper as I spoke.

  The vote was unanimous, that wasn’t a surprise. None of us liked to see our women hurt. I wanted Ren gone so bad I tasted it.
That meant another go around with Marr.

  “Next, Rebel asked to start a bail bonds business, really more a skip-trace, but he says the best ones do both, steadier income stream.” I leaned back again.

  “We need more headaches?” Viper said.

  “Need more revenue streams?” Bear asked.

  Then there was silence.

  “What’s Romeo say?” Thorn’s deep voice startled me.

  “I say if it keeps our brothers in the club then we go for it.” Romeo’s voice crackled from the bad connection. “Recruiting more brothers all the time gets old just to see them go in another five years.”

  Thorn leaned forward. “I like the idea.”

  “We could hedge it, give us a few months to settle Renegade then start up Rebel’s thing.” Viper cracked his neck. The brother looked like the living dead, already half asleep.

  “Not a fucking chance. That’s weakness. We do it or walk away.” Dare’s harsh tone ended that idea.

  I was on the fence about this business because of the timing, but Dare was right, we had to act, and I didn’t want to piss away Rebel’s idea. There was money to make there.

  “Rock, you got something to say.” I wanted to hear from our newest member. Dare said he was the right one to run Marked Man, but I wasn’t so sure. The brother always followed in the past.

  “I’d do it. Gives us more revenue in case Renegade manages to fuck with either Bear or Viper’s stream and gives those brothers who want to stay a job they want. I mean, I’d hate to have to decide to go do porn or travel with Romeo if I couldn’t draw anymore.”

  “You’d be hot on-screen.” Bear grinned wide.

  “Yeah, but how’d you stand the way Ollie’d crush on me.” He grinned at Bear.

  “Oh no, you’re more my type than my lover’s.” Bear leered.

  “See, no porn for me.” He laughed.

  Chuckles met Rock’s words and the tension lifted.

  “Vote it. Give Rebel the cash to set up his business, but I’m not giving him any members. We’re running too short, he’ll need to recruit his own office staff. Once it’s running, and he has too many skips to do, he can work with Romeo to transfer some guys. That’s the deal, what do we say?”

  Everyone voted for Rebel’s new business, which meant we had a new brother on the Council. We ended the meeting discussing revenue and working through how the value of shares had increased. I had a feeling we’d need to know exactly how well the money flowed to our members. I felt dissatisfaction in the air. Sooner or later church would become a bitch fest.

  When the meeting ended I held Dare, Viper, and Bear back to strategize on Renegade. I needed him gone, but more, I needed information.

  “Look, we need to get a handle on Ren and get him out of the club. He’s just going to attack every weak spot until we put him out.” I hated the fear I’d seen in Misty’s eyes.

  “How did it go with Marr?” Viper grinned at me.

  “Shot down. You work on her. She thinks she has some obligation to keep his fucking secrets.” I remembered the taste of her lips.

  “She does. It’s not an easy betrayal, but a necessary one,” Viper agreed.

  “I say we beat him or just disappear him.” Bear scowled. “He won’t stop, and the fucker is like a shadow—here and gone. He’s bad news for you.”

  “No reason to black patch him,” I reminded them.

  “I didn’t say kick him out.” Bear’s cold tone made it clear he wanted a permanent solution.

  Dare nodded. “The Old Man had power, and that caused complications to his way out, but Ren needs to be gone, just gone.”

  “And when his friends come calling? We have more problems.” Besides killing a man who might be my father wasn’t something I wanted to do. Maybe that made me soft but I wasn’t prepared to go that far. “Is he using?”

  No one knew.

  “How can I get Marr to say yes?” I frowned at Viper.

  “I’ll work on her, but she hasn’t got much reason to trust us.” He held his hands up. “I’m not the favorite. I get what Rebel wants to do, but his timing left Bound open to Ren’s influence. I haven’t been there long enough to earn that kind of respect.”

  “You need to make Marr want to help you.” Dare lifted his brows. “You need to make her see it our way.”

  Chapter Four

  Marr

  Patience isn’t one of my strengths, but I gave Misty a few days of recovery before I visited again. I needed information, and she had it, and Dogg had even more. I needed to understand the Brotherhood’s past before I decided how much to tangle with their future. Part of me wanted to dive into the strife and come up swinging, Renegade had damaged one of mine. Misty wasn’t technically my sub, but I considered all the subs my responsibility. Had it been one of my girls, I’d already have his nuts in my hand.

  I blew out a frustrated breath and tugged up the leather pants, they liked to stick to my thighs, but I got them up and fastened before snapping my bustier and sliding on my jacket—all the same supple leather. Red lipstick, eyeliner and mascara—ready to go. I examined myself in the mirror. A Domme stared back, that wasn’t what I needed today. I needed to be her friend and to not challenge Dogg. Since Val left I’d fallen into the habit of staying in my Domme role almost all the time, not healthy.

  As a Domme my allegiance to Renegade was clear. He was my client and not my problem since he hadn’t broken my dungeon rules. Working against him was dishonest but maybe necessary. What if he hurt another girl? I’d argued myself into a corner—damned if I do and damned if I don’t—that wasn’t where I wanted to be. I chose my destiny, but to decide which way to go, I needed more intelligence. I knew Renegade, bastard that he was. The last thing I needed was to open the door to a worse devil by helping Jericho. I had to decide who to support, and soon, because I wasn’t going to be able to remain neutral.

  I shrugged off the jacket and stripped the leather off. Choosing to wear my old Levi’s, I slipped on a tank top—clothes Maurine wore. I made myself lace up my black Converse instead of boots. I drug a jean jacket from the back of my closet, and nodded into the mirror. Authentic. Misty didn’t need Marr, she needed me, a friend. And I didn’t need to tweak Santa’s nose.

  I backed out of my garage in my red MINI Cooper that Lash, my apprentice, had retrieved from the hospital. The car, totally fun, was the opposite of my Domme personality, which was exactly why I’d bought it, that and I couldn’t fathom driving one of the huge vehicles Americans fancied.

  I parked in the empty duplex drive, checking my makeup before I got out. I appreciated the extra effort Jericho exerted to make Misty feel safe, now if he stopped the bloody violence, then he’d deserve my respect. When his father ran the business, none of the violence had touched the staff, just the whores they’d brought into the club, but that had pissed me off too. Now Renegade used employees as a pawn in his political game inside the motorcycle club—despicable.

  I knocked on the front door, and Santa biker opened it, eyeing me, like he assessed a side of meat. And I understood why—he was claiming his space and Misty. It was always a touchy situation when Doms were together, especially when we both thought of ourselves as the top one.

  “I’m here to see Misty.”

  “Come in. I expected you yesterday.” He stepped aside. “She’s napping now but will wake up soon.”

  I stepped into the pristine space, everything in place, and not even a stray bottle or can on an end table. Slipping out of my shoes at the door, I sat in the dark chocolate chair. He sprawled across the couch almost directly across from me.

  “I’ve heard great things about you.” I bowed my head in acknowledgement of his expertise.

  “And I’ve heard interesting stories about you—they say pain is your true gift—but I’ll have to schedule a
session to judge that.”

  Shit, all I needed, another Dom in my dungeon, between Jericho, Ren and Dogg, that’d be three too many. They were a weakness of mine—servicing strong men appealed to me in a way heroin appealed to a junkie. Almost impossible to remain centered among that much alpha-level testosterone.

  “It’d be my pleasure.” I let pleasure linger on my tongue. “Have you and Misty become reacquainted?”

  “Some friendships are lifelong. We didn’t need to catch up, it’s like I never left.” He leaned back in his chair. “Maybe never should’ve left.”

  “Will you open a dungeon?” Bound was running out of dungeon space. I’d claimed his dungeon space.

  “Now that, I just might do, if I stay after Misty heals. I miss my dungeon—heard you gutted mine and made it all sleek.”

  I dipped my head. “I like things neat, something else we share, I think. And I like to know the score.”

  “I’ve been keeping score a long time.” Then his face lost all jovial humor. “Leave Misty out of it. She’s paid enough, and to talk about the past would invite retribution.”

  “I need history. I’ll get that information from Misty or you?”

  “An answer for an answer, and a session soon.” He narrowed his eyes and grinned, but it wasn’t friendly, it was a challenge.

  “Of course.” I swept my hand out toward him. “Ask.”

  “Are you attached to a lover?”

  Great, another biker candidate. I wanted to lie, but he’d find out easily enough. “No, not since Valerie left.” I considered my question. “Renegade is a client and a problem, which is more important?”

  I’d debated this point in my head for hours, but all my voices had argued into a stalemate, so I needed more information.

  “Always been a problem. He is why I retired, done cleaning up his messes, which were far more frequent than the Old Man’s.” He propped his leg on the other one and leaned back, at ease.

  Bloody hell. The Old Man was a pain in the ass at the club so if Ren was worse, I needed to stop him.